Week 4: The Karma Police

You work for the Take a Wish Foundation- a charity that takes away good things from undeserving people.

It’s usually family members. Getting sick of the same person, day after day getting the things that they want, or the luck they don’t think they deserve. 
I found this job on Craigslist, I couldn’t believe it. 
“Take a Wish Foundation, how may I help you?”
“Uh.. hello?” I responded hesitantly. 
“Hello, how may I help you?” the voice repeated. 
“I’m looking for a job? On Craigslist? There was a posting?” Every sentence became a question as my nerves kicked in, making my voice shake. 
“Ah, yes! Did you send in your resume?”
I had, and she pulled me in for a quick interview the following day. 
The office was sparse, with wood paneling that channeled a 60’s dentist office. The manager of the establishment was a woman in her 50’s with puffy bangs that stuck out an inch form her forehead. She sat behind the fake mahogany desk and folded her hands, her blue fingernails sticking out long after her fingers spotted. 
“Our work we do is special,” she started. I could feel a single drop of sweat trickle from my calf to my sock. “I got the idea when I was sick of my stupid sister getting everything she wanted. She’s a horrible person. Selfish, stupid. Her child got cancer and she made it use her Make a Wish Foundation on meeting her favorite celebrity- Cher. What 3 year old wants to meet Cher?” She huffed out a breath, her bangs flying up with the exhale. 
“Anyway, I got so mad I filed the name of this charity the next day. And surprisingly enough, there are a lot of people like me out there. Bitter, wanting the people to get what they deserve.” She raised her eyebrow. “How do you feel about karma?”

“She’s going to get my dream job!” I could hear the sulking in her voice, even over the phone. I imagined her bottom lip pouted out as she complained further about her sister getting the interview they had both applied for.  “So here’s what you need to do. “
I called Beth, the Evil Sister. I was instructed to pretend to be a staff member at Conde Nast and tell her the interview had been rescheduled to another time. 
“Hello?”
“Hi there,” I crooned, the security voice coming out easier than expected, “Is this Bridget?” 
It was almost too easy. She believed me instantly, I reported the deed to the client and then it was done. I was the wish taker. 
Weeks went by and I did little deeds- taking away interviews, canceling dates, misdirecting online purchases. Mostly harmless, innocent things that I could justify the person (most likely) deserved. My conscious held up. Until Buster. 

“You want me to steal a dog? From a kid?” I replied. I tried to keep the shock out of my voice as my hand holding the phone started to shake. The voice on the other end let out a short bark of a laugh. 
“Yes. And if you knew this kid, you’d understand. He’s a br-“
“I’m going to stop you right there. I’m not about to go steal a puppy from a child.”
The voice paused. “Can I speak to your manager?”

She pulled me aside later that day, her blue fingernails now purple, and motioned for me to sit across from her. The clock on the wall ticked loudly as I felt my knees comically knocking in fright. 
“You can’t just say no to someone like that,” she huffed. “We need to be diplomatic. Understanding. These people are coming to us because they believe the person deserves it.”
“But a kid? A child? Stealing their dog? I don’t think that should be-“
“Hold on a second.” She fluffed up her bangs and took a deep breath. “I talked to the guy. He has a valid point.” 
My mouth hung open in shock. “You want me to steal a puppy? Seriously?”
“You don’t have to go get it yourself,” she snapped, “Call animal protection, report animal abuse and it’s a done deal. They’ll take it away. Now, you have a choice. Either do this or find yourself another job.” 
I shook my head. “No. I won’t do it.”
“Fine,” she shrugged. “You can leave.”
I got up from the chair in disbelief. Is this woman crazy? Is she so blind in her bitterness she doesn’t see how messed up this is? I opened my mouth to say some of this, but thought better of it.

I don’t want the karma police to come after me next.